Therapy Jokes

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water

But after jumping in the ocean its 100%just like my depression.

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..

I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression. It’s called Enditol.

The closest thing in a depression person's life is a knife and his/her throat

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression. It’s called Trycoxagain.

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

My therapist once said, 'time heals all wounds' So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :) -> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game and here in this world we are here for each other although at times it might not seem like it. keep strong and you'll find the end of the tunnel but ending the pain and bieng gone just spreads depression.

I saw this one quote of the people who smile the most are covering the most pain I think this is true just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends but with my parents and family I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do. I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe 22/24 but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate saying I would tell her that my depression got worse she went along with it but I haven't told my mum and I know make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist

Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

Depression I got it. A girlfriend dont got it. A life dont got it. Help got it. Freinds dont got it. Family I got it. Best of all depression I got it !!!!!!!!

What is long brown and cured depression.

A nuse.

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

Mickey Mouse went to a Psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.” The Psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.” He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”