Therapy jokes
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Memes
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.