Therapy

Therapy Jokes

Attempt

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Lamp

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

Tree

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

Man

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Firework

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

  • 2
  • Depression

    How to get rid of your depression:

    1. Stop self-pitying.

    2. Realize you can't.

    3. Fucking deal with it.

    You're welcome.

    Cheese

    Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.

    Booty

    Why did the booty go to therapy?

    It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.

    Drug

    Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

    Cancer

    My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.