Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
9/11 is like genders. There used to be two of them and now it’s a touchy subject.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Whats the difference between a apple and a orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
My family is like treasure, you need a map and a shovel to find them.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!!!!!!!
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
