Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
