Them jokes
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.