Them jokes

Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.

God, I love working at an orphanage!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?

There are 40 of them.

Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Why can’t orphans play catch?

They never had a dad to teach them.

Why do basketball players love cookies so much?

Because they can dunk them!