My mates threw nuts at the wall now we call them walnuts
Hahaha :)
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
Roses are red violets are blue. I have five fingers two of them are for you.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube? Both get hard when we play with them.
dark humor is like having parents not everbody gets them
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree it leaves them hanging
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home", they only had one option
Why are life and penis alike? Women make both of them hard.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
