Them Jokes

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!

Why don't orphans get dad jokes?

Because they don't have a dad to tell them.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

Do you know what SAWCON is?

SAWCON deez nuts.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.

Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?

None of them get picked.