Them jokes

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

Why can’t orphans play catch?

They never had a dad to teach them.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them.

Why do basketball players love cookies so much?

Because they can dunk them!

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

People are like tequila glasses,

you gotta shoot them down fast.

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!

Why don't orphans get dad jokes?

Because they don't have a dad to tell them.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)