Them jokes

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.