Them jokes

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

Like if you listen to Kidd G.

Comment if you listen to Polo G.

Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.

Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

Why do rappers love the gym?

'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?

In a dog pound, people actually want them.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?