Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?
Them Jokes
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
