Them jokes

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

Why can’t orphans win trophies?

Because they can’t take them home.

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

How do you disrespect an Asian?

Give them driving lessons.

Like if you listen to Kidd G.

Comment if you listen to Polo G.

Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.

Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.