Them jokes
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Why do orphans hate Geometry?
Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
I know this is a very corny joke.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.