The jokes
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was tiers.
The Philthydelphia Eagles.
That's it. That's the joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
The Kardashians are just hyper realistic Barbies.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.