The jokes

Ugliness

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Age

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Emo group

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

Birthday

September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)

Memes

Weapon

💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*

The image shows a painting of the founding fathers signing a document above a US flag, and an assault rifle. Text on the image reads: "2nd Amendment has nothing to do with hunting or home defense. It's about defending our freedom from oppressive government."

Song

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid

Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.

Difference

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

Wife

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

Wife

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

Wife

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

Gas Station

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."