The Sun jokes

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?

Because the clouds kept throwing shade.

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?

A: It rises every morning.

Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?

"Here Comes the Sun."

The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.

Why didn't the sun go to college?

Because it already had a million degrees!