That jokes
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.