Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
