That jokes

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

I have a lot of respect for trans women.

That surgery takes balls!

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.