That jokes

Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"

Person 2: "In Japan."

Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

Answer: A family photo.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.