That jokes

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

🚲 🚲 🚲

😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.