That jokes
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.