That jokes

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.

The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!

Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!

Kariah: That's sad!

That's kinda sus, you know?

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!

Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?

They couldn't beet the Nazis.