That jokes

Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.

His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.

Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!

Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.

The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Man, that's funny!

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.