That jokes

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...

Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Why don't headless people have a head in class?

Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.