That jokes

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

What did you call a school that got blown up?

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.

An orange jumpsuit that is :)

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!