That jokes

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.

An orange jumpsuit that is :)

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Yo mama so fat that Thanos had to snap twice!

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

Moo!

Cow: I was just about to say that!

Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

What did you call a school that got blown up?