That Jokes

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

A muscular man in a tank top and cap poses in front of a wall. The text overlay says "If her got hair on it she faithful, its the shaved ones that be cheating. Grass don't grow on a busy street."

When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?