That jokes

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

Wait, that's me.

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.

Why don’t old people have sex?

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?

Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!