That is so bad, just like you.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.
Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
