That jokes
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.