That jokes
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."