That jokes

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I’m blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.

I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

Why would a Italian heterosexual male do for $100.00 if he was a prostitute that a polish american male would only do for a Klondike bar if he was a prostitute?

suck a big cock.

Me: You know your parents were very good people.

Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Me: I know, you're an orphan.

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.