That jokes

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

Just to ask the other guy.

Talk about a male supremacist religion.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.

When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"

So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."

The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"