That jokes

Penguin

3 views ·

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

Weapon

3 views ·

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

Man

3 views ·

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

Anxiety

2 views ·

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

Satan

3 views ·

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

Religion

36 views ·

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Slit

21 views ·

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

Hairline

2,245 views ·

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.