That jokes

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."