Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
