What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps on a scale it says to be continued
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
