That jokes
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"