New That Jokes - Page 97 - Worst Jokes Ever

A game that all orphans hate,

"Who's your Daddy?"

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.

I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."

The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."