That jokes

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Biden and Trump.

That's it. That's the joke.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."