Terrorism jokes
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
Here Comes the airplane
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!