Tell jokes

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.

What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?

You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I’m blind.

Mom: Exactly.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.