Television jokes
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Spongulbub
Spingebinge
Sponk
Spunkulbub
Bobspunge
Spong
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Memes
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!