Television jokes
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Memes
Spongulbub
Spingebinge
Sponk
Spunkulbub
Bobspunge
Spong
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.