Television jokes

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

What show do orphans never watch?

"Fuller House."

What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.

I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?

Robot Wars.

What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

The Stigg is a joke.

Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?

Fuller House.

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."