Television jokes
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
The Stigg is a joke.
Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.