What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
What was the orphan's favorite TV show?
Full House.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Spongulbub
Spingebinge
Sponk
Spunkulbub
Bobspunge
Spong
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
