Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
