Technology jokes

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?

A: He lost internet connection.

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Why do orphans get iPhones 11?

Because it has no home page.

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

Who eats sleeping? A robot.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

I made a website for orphans.

It has no homepage.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

What STD can you get from phone sex?

Hearing AIDS.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”