Technology jokes
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Memes
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
It was just a big hunter killer drone.
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."