Technology jokes
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
You dream in 4K.