Technology jokes
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
You dream in 4K.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I made a website about orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
I got jealous when my phone died.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.