Technology jokes
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.