Technology jokes
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!