Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Technology Jokes
I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
