Technology jokes
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.