How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
