How does Helen Keller say dad? I don’t know but you should ask her..... wait never mind she can’t talk.
Me and my brother talking about relationships Me: We live kind of differently Brother: We're sort of alike Me: We're not alike Brother because he's taken: cause you don't have boyfriend! My thoughts: You're right. Cause I have a girlfriend!
So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t
what did the rock say to the flower?
rocks can't talk -.-
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
What do you call a school that can talk? A school 🏫 with a face
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
If You're In A Roast Battle With A Homophobe And They Are Talking Mad Shit Just Say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol"
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that you rude girl"
You: "Your mom gay lol"
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
why cant dinosaurs talk?
cause there dead
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a Blowjob, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let's see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn't get a Blowjob from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in 'oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says" I could have saved my dad!"
a guy saw a person with a duck and said "where did you get a pig" the owner replied "its not a pig dummy" the random guy said "i wasn't talking to you,i was talking to the duck"
