A dog talks to a other dog and say Wow your a Hotdog
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I talk to your doctor he said you wasn’t going make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon
My friend talking to fat boi : I can order you at McDonalds’. Double Big Mac triple quarter pounder cheese burger
Knock knock!! Whos there?? Dishwasher!! Dishwasher who?? Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in
What did the sunglasses say to the banana 🍌? Nothing sunglasses can’t talk
Why did you say hi? Baby’s don’t talk
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
A father is talking to his three kids Kid 1: why is my name rose Dad:Because when you were a kid a rose fell on your head Kid 2: why is my name lily Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh Dad:oh hey Brick
If u r talking to Indian and noticed a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what u said... They r recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is
We were talking about ancient ruins last week so I said they can ruin your day!!!😁🤣
puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL
when the french fry was talking to the potato but the potato didn't understand what he was saying. it was because he didn't speak french
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room So I said “I guess she wasn’t fealine it” My dad said “you’ve got to be kitten me that was purfect” I said “literally”
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
