Suicide Jokes

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”

These gags are killing me !

What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why.....he said so I could be extinct😭😭

i got a lot running through my head right now i wish at least one was a 12 gauge round

When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",

I'm dying to live forever !

Its the season of giving, So ill be giving up!

i gave i tree a high five but sadly it left me hanging

My freind said he wanted to die and I told him not to jump but when he screamed hi im jhonny Knoxville and welcome to jackass I knew it was over

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.