Friend: Why don’t you cut your hair? Me: Dunno, but i’ll probably cut my wrists first

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

i am a reverse rapper because i put bars in my mouth

IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To get to the other side (suicide)

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road? To see his flatmate

You got a black cat. He was bad luck. Everyone left you and you comited suicide. What a CATastrophe.

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn’t care about her life. I don’t care about her life either hahahaha!!;)

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.

sayo-nara

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, sl*t!" I walked towards him. “I prefer slit.” I said. “Why?” He asked. “You see this wrists?” I spat at him.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. my friends do. one person never does any of his homework.

eventually we had to have fun. He said he didn’t do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly commit suicide.

Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist

Friend 1. whats your favorite drink or food Friend 2. pizza Friend 3. Donuts Friend 4. i don’t eat food but i do drink bleach Friend 1. (calling the suicide hotline) Friend 2. (Calling the parents)

Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist.

I help suicidal people

BTW verb not adjective

why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other suiSIDE to see their parents

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