Suicide jokes
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
These gags are killing me!
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."