Suicide jokes
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
What do you call a group of emos? Suicide Squad.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building? A cliffhanger.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
These gags are killing me!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.