Suicide jokes

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.

Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

Why did the orphan commit suicide?

So he could find home.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.