Suicide

Suicide jokes

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. πŸ™‚πŸ’ŠπŸ’‰

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  • Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

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  • Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

    Museum girl: Committing suicide.

    Allan: What about Friday night?

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  • What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

    At least one does something when it is triggered.

    I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

    If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

    A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

    All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

    A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."