Suicide jokes
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
Rowan
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Go commit neck rope.
My life.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.