Suicide jokes

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

Why did the liberal cross the road?

(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

Go commit neck rope.

My life.

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?

Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...

Why did the feminist kill herself?

Because she was TRIGGERED.

Suicidal people are groundbreaking.

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...

Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!

Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?

Killer Kool-Aid.