"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
DEEZ NUTS
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
