Suicide jokes

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

"1v1 me bitch!"

Your nan is gay.

Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?

My friend: What?

Me: The Suicide Squad.

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

I have a funny joke: my life.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.

Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.

Person 2: I know how to fix that!

... Next day person commits suicide...

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

I will pay someone to kill me.

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.