I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
penis neck rope
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Let's have toast in the bath.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stopped the emo.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
